Sadness
by Xtremeroswellian
Summary: Faith's home life becomes more troubled as she and Bosco grow closer together. Conclusion up as of 8/12/02!
1. Default Chapter

Title: Wherever You Will Go series, fic #6: Sadness (1/2)

Authors: Demelza and X_tremeroswellian

Email(s): demelza81@yahoo.co.nz and X_tremeroswellian@yahoo.com

Disclaimer: The characters don't belong to us. They belong to Edward Allen Bernero and John Wells and a bunch of other people that we've never met before. Please don't sue. 

Summary: Faith's home life becomes more troubled as she and Bosco grow closer together. 

Rating: PG-13

Spoilers: Up through and including "The Unforgiven." 

Author's Note: This is the sixth story in a series of Third Watch fics we're writing titled "Wherever You Will Go." The first one is "Confessions," the second is "Here With Me," the third is "Pain," the fourth is "Tears," and the fifth is "Fear." You may want to read those first before continuing. 

* * *

**Previously: **

*****_"He's my husband. He loves me. Nothing else matters."   
He laughed, shaking his head. "If he loved you, Faith, he'd support you. He'd treat you the way you deserve to be treated!"  
"We have our problems, but we always work them out eventually. He'll get over this, too," she said, her voice quiet as she stared at the floor.  
Bosco lowered his own voice. "He doesn't love you like you should be loved."  
"That's not for you to decide. We have two kids together, Bosco. It's not that easy to just walk away."_

_*****"You once told me that the worst thing that happened to you in your life was when your parents split up."  
"Yeah, I did say that once... but look what happened when they were together as long as they were."  
"He'd never hurt me physically, Bosco."  
Bosco's tone became serious again. "How do you know that, Faith? My parents were together for years before he started beating on my mom."  
Faith frowned deeply. "Fred has his problems, but he wouldn't...I just know."  
"Has he ever yelled at you?" he asked painfully. "Shouted to such a level, that you're wishing he'd leave you alone? Because that's how it started..."_

*****_"We're gonna get out of this," Trent said, sounding confident.  
__"Like last time? Last time we were lucky!" Rodney shouted.  
__"Yeah, but this time is different," he smiled. "We've got a room full of hostages."_

*****_"I'll need you both to come down to the station and make formal reports."  
__She looked away, wrapping her arms around her waist.   
__Bosco let out a groan. "What, Lieu? You can't be serious... can we do it tomorrow? I really don't feel up to it tonight." He looked over at Faith, seeing her arms wrapped around herself. "Not after what we've been through."  
__Lieu glanced at him, then at Faith again. "All right. Go home, get some sleep. But I want you both down there tomorrow afternoon, got it?"_

*****_He took one step slowly toward her, reaching his hand out to touch her shoulder. "Faith..." He searched her face, looking for answers.  
__She flinched at the feel of his hand on her shoulder. "I screwed up," she whispered.  
__"What? Faith, no, don't do this to yourself... you didn't screw up. We're all safe."  
__She shook her head. "I froze, Bosco." She jerked her eyes up to meet his. "I froze."  
__He swallowed, remembering. "You were in a bad situation, it's understandable... shock and fear. It does that to people, no matter who they are."_

*****_"What happened back there?"  
__"Please, Fred...please, just...not tonight. I can't...talk about this right now..."  
__"It'd help if you talked about it, Faith. It was a big deal, you can't just keep it all inside."_

Sadness (Part 1)

Emily sat next to Charlie on the sofa, their favorite afternoon cartoon 'Pinky and the Brain' was on. It was an old episode they'd seen before, but it was one of Charlie's favorites, she knew. They had been watching tv since they'd come home from school, their homework still sitting in their bags. An outburst of laughter came from Charlie when Pinky and the Brain climbed a ladder from the real Earth to the one they had made to live on by themselves. Emily couldn't hold back the chuckle that escaped her lips as they started moaning about how lonely they were.   
  
She was content to just watch tv all afternoon when her arguing parents' voices could be heard from down the hall in their bedroom. She looked at Charlie, sighing. "They're fighting again," she said, keeping her voice low so she wasn't heard by either parent.  
  
Charlie frowned. "What else is new?"  
  
Emily looked at him for a single moment, turning back to the tv. "I wish they'd stop just once," she muttered to herself, trying to get comfortable on the couch.  
  
He didn't respond this time, just reached for the remote control and turned the volume up.

* * *

"No, Faith, I don't want you going...stay home, you can give them your report when you get back to work!"  
  
Faith sighed deeply, her head pounding with the beginning of a headache. "I have to go. Lt. Swersky needs my report today."  
  
He let out an angered groan. "Fine, but I'm going with you. I'm not letting you out of my sight again."  
  
"You can't, Fred."  
  
"Yes, I can. You either stay home and give your report when you get back, or I go with you."  
  
"This isn't open for discussion, okay? This is an official meeting. You *can't* go."  
  
Fred shook his head. "No, damnit, Faith. This *is* open for discussion. Something in this god-damned house has to be!"  
  
"What's that supposed to mean?"  
  
"You won't damned well tell me what happened in that bank last night!" he shouted.  
  
Faith closed her eyes briefly and lowered her voice. "Nothing happened, okay? We were held hostage, we took down one of the robbers and we got out."  
  
"There's something more, and you're not telling me what it is. I'm going with you, Faith, this isn't open for argument," he said, keeping his voice loud and clear.  
  
"This is not about you. This is about my work. It's an official meeting with my bosses to make a report. It's not a public forum."  
  
Fred let out a breath through his nose. "I'm your husband, Faith. I have a right to be there."  
  
"You need to stay here with the kids," she pointed out. She took a deep breath and headed toward the bedroom door. "It shouldn't take that long anyway. An hour or so, tops."  
  
Fred shook his head, not accepting that and went after her. "The kids can sit in the waiting room, Faith. I'm going with you!"  
  
She stopped in her tracks, and turned to face him. "No, you're not," she said firmly, feeling very weary.  
  
"Damnit, Faith, I want to be there for you!"  
  
"And what I want is for you to stay here with our kids and not push this anymore. I told you, this isn't going to take that long, Fred." She headed for the couch where Emily and Charlie were watching cartoons.  
  
Fred followed running his hand over his head. "Be reasonable!"  
  
"I am being reasonable. I'll be home soon," she said. "I'll see you guys soon, okay?" she said to Em and Charlie.  
  
Emily nodded up to her mother. "Okay, Mommy."  
  
Faith smiled at her, and kissed her on the forehead. Then she kissed Charlie, as well. She turned to head for the door.  
  
Fred grabbed hold of her wrist to turn her around. "Just listen to me, Faith!"  
  
Pain jolted up her arm and she quickly pulled away from his grip.   
  
"You're not stepping out that door until you talk to me!" he said, not shouting, but being authoritative.  
  
"Mommy, can we go to McDonalds tonight?" Charlie interrupted.  
  
Faith tried to ignore the pain in her arm as she knelt down to Charlie, who was now standing at her side. "We'll see okay, baby?"  
  
Emily looked at Charlie, then to their mother, a funny knot forming in her stomach. "Please, Mommy, we haven't had it in ages."  
  
Fred frowned at both children. "Get to your room. Your mother and I are talking!"  
  
Faith stood up abruptly. "Don't yell at them," she said, angered.  
  
"I can say what the hell I want in my home!" he replied, the frown on his face deepening. He then looked toward Emily and Charlie, who were both looking back at him. "I said go to your room!"  
  
She glared at him briefly, then looked down at her kids. "I'll be back soon and then we'll go to McDonalds for dinner," she promised. "Why don't you guys go watch cartoons in your room, okay?"  
  
Charlie frowned. "Okay."  
  
Emily nodded, walking over to Charlie. She gave her mom a worried look, before putting her arm around Charlie's shoulder. "Okay," she replied.  
  
Faith watched them go and waited until they were out of the room. "Don't talk to them like that again," she warned. "Ever." She turned to walk toward the door again.  
  
Fred glared after her, following her with his eyes as she walked toward the door. "What, and suddenly you're parent of the year!?"  
  
She ignored his remark and turned the door handle, afraid she'd say something she wouldn't be able to take back. Best to just keep moving, she thought. 

* * *

The hallway just outside Lieutenant Swersky's office was unbelievably silent. There were no shrill dial tones of phones ringing in all directions, no shouting and screaming from those arrested who thought their convictions were an injustice to whatever they had been caught doing.   
  
Bosco let out a breath, feeling every molecule of air tickle the wall of his throat on the way out. I wonder where Faith is, he thought, finding himself nervously shaking his right leg, while tapping the arm of the bench he sat on with his left hand.  
  
"Where is she?" He sighed, looking about him.  
  
As if on cue, Faith rounded the corner in a rush. She saw Bosco sitting on the bench. "Am I late?" she asked, more than a little hint of anxiety in her voice.  
  
He shook his head, quickly rising to his feet and taking in a slight breath, just as quickly letting it back out. "Nah, you're fine. What happened?" he asked, noting the anxiety in her tone.  
  
"I had to fight with Fred just to leave the damned apartment," she muttered.  
  
"What!? What's crawled up his ass this time?" he asked, quickly shaking his head. "Sorry, slip of the tongue."  
  
She wouldn't look at him. "He thought he should come with me. Then when I told him no, he got mad and yelled at the kids." She sat down on the bench tiredly, leaning her head against the wall.  
  
Bosco shook his head in disgust, before sitting down beside her. "Trying to live your life for you again?"  
  
"Bosco," she said quietly, not wanting to fight with him, too.  
  
"Sorry," he apologized, leaning back against the wall. "You doing okay, I mean otherwise?" he asked, looking in her direction.  
  
She nodded slowly. "Yeah. I'm fine."  
  
"You look tired. You sleep any last night?" he asked, keeping his voice in the same caring tone.  
  
Faith finally looked over at him. "Not so much," she admitted quietly.  
  
"I'm sorry, Faith."  
  
She shook her head. "It's not your fault." She took a deep breath. "Did you sleep?"  
  
Bosco shook his head, letting out a breath. "Not much. I couldn't stop thinking about it...about what happened."  
  
She swallowed hard and looked away. "Yeah, it was pretty intense."  
  
He nodded, not taking his eyes from her even once. "Faith, I'm sorry," he swallowed, continuing. "For what happened, for...not being able to stop him..."  
  
Faith's heart clenched. She looked over and met his eyes. "Bosco, nothing happened. I'm okay." She tried to sound reassuring, but her voice shook slightly and she cursed herself in her mind.  
  
He just looked at her. "No, you're not," he replied, his voice lower.  
  
She closed her eyes and rested her head on one hand. Shit. Why does he have to know me so well? she wondered.   
  
"You can talk to me, Faith..." he continued. "I'm always here for you, you know that."  
  
Faith looked at him, wanting nothing more at that moment than to crawl into his arms and hear him say that everything was going to be okay. "Bosco, I..."  
  
Just then the door opened and Christopher stepped into the hallway. He looked at them, then frowned. "Didn't your husband come with you?"  
  
Bosco shot a look at Christopher. Who the hell does he think he is? he thought, then looked back to Faith.  
  
She glanced up, startled by the interruption. She frowned. "No, he didn't come with me...why would he?"  
  
Christopher looked from her to Bosco, his eyes narrowing. "I was just under the impression that he'd want to be here to support you."  
  
"This is a department only meeting, you know that," Bosco told Christopher, his tone anything but pleasant.  
  
Christopher glared at him. "Exceptions can be made."  
  
Bosco shook his head. My ass, he thought.  
  
Faith frowned, feeling confused.   
  
"Lt. Swersky is on his way. Why don't you two come in here and sit down?" he suggested, his voice holding a note of superiority.  
  
Bosco rolled his eyes, then looked toward Faith. "You ready?"  
  
She nodded, still thrown by the fact that Christopher had wondered why Fred, of all people, wasn't there.  
  
Christopher moved back into the room.  
  
Bosco stood up, waiting for Faith.  
  
She swallowed hard, a wave of anxiety suddenly washing over her.   
  
"Faith, are you okay?"  
  
She wasn't, but she rose to her feet anyway. Words couldn't even cover how much she didn't want to do this meeting right now. "Yeah, fine."  
  
Bosco nodded, but didn't believe her. "You don't have to do this right now, you know that, right?"  
  
"Bosco, if I don't do this now, I won't do it at all. Ever," she added, her voice barely audible.  
  
He nodded again. "Okay."  
  
She took a deep breath and walked into the room, sitting down on one of the chairs at the conference table.  
  
Bosco followed shortly after, closing the door behind him as he walked over to Faith and pulled out one of the chairs at the table and sat down.   
  
No sooner had they sat down when the door behind them opened again and Lieutenant Swersky walked in and sat on the opposite side of the conference table than where Bosco and Faith were sitting. He carried a manila folder with him and placed it down in front of him as he sat. "All right. Thank you for coming in," he told the two officers, not once looking at Christopher.  
  
Christopher, ever the eager suck-up, rose to his feet and saluted the Lt. as he walked into the room.  
  
Faith glanced at Bosco and rolled her eyes.  
  
Bosco grinned, shaking his head slightly. "Not like we had a choice, sir," he said.  
  
Christopher sat down in the chair directly across from Faith, looking at her and then Bosco intently. "Why don't we start out by you two telling us why you were at the bank to begin with."  
  
She frowned. "What does that have to do with anything?"  
  
Bosco's brow creased. What kinda dumb question is that? he asked himself  
  
He focused his eyes on her. "Just want to establish the facts."  
  
Lt. Swersky looked between Bosco and Faith, then to Christopher. "Christopher," he said in a warning tone. "That question isn't on the list."  
  
Faith looked at Bosco again.   
  
Christopher nodded. "Right. Okay, what time did you arrive at the bank?"  
  
Bosco looked back at Faith, then toward Christopher. "Just before closing."  
  
She nodded. "Me too...when I got there, Bosco was a few people ahead of me in line."  
  
"The robbers came in what, three, four minutes after we got there?" he asked Faith.  
  
"Yeah...five minutes, tops."  
  
"So when the robbers came in, you were a few people ahead of her in line?"  
  
Bosco looked at Faith, then to Christopher again. "I'd moved."  
  
He frowned. "Moved?"  
  
"Yeah, went back to where Faith was. Not that this has to do with what happened when those robbers came in."  
  
"Just trying to establish everyone's exact locations when the situation began."  
  
The lieutenant looked at Christopher for a moment, then wrote down some notes.   
  
"What happened exactly when they came in?"  
  
"They told everyone to get on the ground...and the tellers to open the registers." Faith replied.  
  
"And did everyone do as told?"  
  
Bosco nodded slightly. "We all dropped to the ground. But the teller couldn't open the register."  
  
"They told Trent," she winced just saying his name, "That only the manager had the keys."  
  
Bosco noted his partner's unease, and swallowed hard. "He got pissed, and then the cops showed up. The teller had tripped the alarm."  
  
She swallowed hard, tried to remain calm. "We figured out a couple minutes later that it was the same people who'd robbed Center Bank a few days ago."  
  
"And how did you figure that out?" A hint of doubt in Christopher's voice.  
  
"The girl. Her name was Jamie. Same with one of the other robbers from Center Bank," Bosco told him.  
  
Faith nodded her agreement. "Bosco realized it first."  
  
Christopher's eyes narrowed slightly. "What happened next?"  
  
"He had one of the other hostages...Dave...get up and close the blinds," She glanced at Bosco sideways. "Then he made Bosco lock the foyer doors."  
  
Bosco looked at Faith once more, slowly turning back to Christopher. "Then Rodney, he started to panic. It pissed Trent off more."  
  
"Jamie was upset, too. Trent stomped over to her, like he was going to hurt her or something..."  
  
"Faith tried to reason with him to calm down...but, he just...got more mad."  
  
"And what did he do then?"  
  
Bosco swallowed hard, hating to do this to Faith. "He grabbed her..."  
  
Christopher looked surprised.   
  
"What happened next...?" Swersky asked.  
  
Faith looked down. "He just...had me move across the room, away from Bosco."  
  
"Why away from Bosco?"  
  
"We were talking."  
  
"Because....he tried to defend me when Trent came over toward us."  
  
Swersky looked at them both, "And?"  
  
"And he made me move..."  
  
He nodded, penning down some more notes.   
  
"That's when one of the officers outside came over the bullhorn and said the building was surrounded."  
  
"Then what happened?" Christopher asked.  
  
Bosco took in a light breath, "They took off their masks, Trent and Rodney... Rodney was still panicking, but Trent just laughed, saying this time was different, they had a room full of hostages."  
  
"He seemed really confident they'd get out of there without a problem."  
  
"Rodney wasn't so sure, though."  
  
"What happened next?"  
  
"A phone rang."  
  
She took a deep breath. "It gave me an idea...I saw the phone behind the counter and I moved back and dialed 911 without them knowing it."  
  
"They kept arguing, so they didn't even realize she'd moved until she came back."  
  
Christopher looked at her. "They realized you moved?"  
  
Her heart pounded in her chest and she nodded shortly. "Yeah. Jamie saw me."  
  
"What did they do when they realized you'd moved?" he leaned forward in his seat.  
  
Bosco closed his eyes tight, remembering.   
  
Faith swallowed hard. "Trent came over...he told me to get up off the floor. He wanted to know if I was trying to escape."  
  
Christopher glanced at Bosco, noticing his reaction. "What else?"  
  
"I stood up, told him to leave her alone. But he..." his voice froze, and he swallowed.  
  
She bit her lip and looked down at the table's surface, noticing the interesting pattern of marks on it.   
  
"He what?" Christopher asked, insistent.  
  
Bosco shook his head, not wanting to answer, but he had to, he knew that. "He shoved her...against a wall," he replied, his voice lower.  
  
Faith gathered up every bit of her willpower and looked right at him. "He told me maybe he and I should go into the back so he could teach me a lesson."  
  
Christopher stared at her.   
  
She looked away.   
  
"What happened then?"  
  
"That's when he grabbed me and took me outside, threatened to kill all of us if the police tried to come inside the building. When he brought me back in, I sat down next to Bosco...I told him that I'd called 911 behind the counter...that the phone was still off the hook."  
  
"Trent and Rodney, they were bitching at each other, when this woman...he caught her using her phone."  
  
"What did he do then?"  
  
"He kicked her. Then he took her phone, crushed it under his foot..." Faith replied.  
  
"Then he started talking about making demands."  
  
She took a breath. "Bosco tried to talk him into letting a couple people go so the police would negotiate."  
  
"The dispatcher had put the call in by then," Swersky mentioned, writing down some more notes.  
  
Christopher nodded. "We heard that part," he said, nodding towards Swersky. "That's how we knew Boscorelli was in the bank."  
  
Bosco nodded. "That's when he took Dave outside, and demanded the pizza and pepsi," he nodded, acknowledging that they had heard.  
  
"While he was outside, Bosco and I came up with a plan. To separate the other two from Trent and try to get them to turn themselves in."  
  
Christopher nodded for them to continue.  
  
"They went out, and when Trent dragged Dave back in, that's when Faith told him she needed to use the restroom. He came after her, so I stood up, too. Then Dave..." A small smile on his face at the courage the shaken guy had used. "He said he needed to go too."  
  
"I went with Jamie and two other hostages...when I came out of the restroom, I tried to talk to her."  
  
Her mind flashed back to her conversation with the frightened woman.   
  
Swersky looked at Faith, putting down his pen. "What did she say?"  
  
She shifted uneasily. "He beats her. She thinks he loves her...she didn't want any part of this, not really."  
  
Bosco swallowed, inside wincing watching his partner.   
  
"She said that?"  
  
"Not in so many words, no."  
  
Swersky wrote down a few more notes, once again looking at her. "What did she say?"  
  
"She said it was too dangerous for her to leave. She was scared. Really scared."  
  
"Why was she so afraid?" he asked.  
  
She looked away. She had her suspicions, but she wasn't certain she was right. "I don't know for sure...I think she was afraid he'd kill her if she tried to turn herself in. Or leave him."   
  
He nodded. "Sounds like he had a hold of her. Please, go on," he said, both to Faith and Bosco.  
  
She glanced at Bosco, starting to feel really uncomfortable. "She made us go back into the main part of the bank, back with Trent and the others."  
  
Christopher looked at Bosco. "Then what?"  
  
Bosco cleared his throat, ready to pick up from there. "Trent ordered me and two others to go through with Rodney, leaving Faith...the others, too, alone with him. I tried to convince him it'd be best if he gave himself up. I knew he hated being there. That's when..." He took in a breath, and slowly let it out. "When he warned me."  
  
"Warned you about what?" Crhistopher asked, sounding confused.  
  
He swallowed hard, turning to Faith for a moment. He closed his eyes, turning his head back around as he opened his eyes again. "To be careful of Trent, the way he was constantly looking at her..."  
  
Christopher looked at the lieutenant then back at Bosco, then at Faith. Then he turned to Bosco again. "Then what?"  
  
Bosco closed his mouth, slowly looking over at Faith. "I came in..." he said after a moment. "And Trent...he had her up against the wall."  
  
Christopher's gaze traveled to Faith. "What happened?"  
  
She swallowed hard, her fingers gripping the edge of the table so tightly that her knuckles turned white. "He told me to get up off the floor. So I did...he shoved me back against the wall..."  
  
"What did he say, when he held you against the wall?" Swersky asked.  
  
She flinched. //"Do you know what I'm gonna do to you?" he asked, his voice just above a whisper as he leaned forward and put his face next to hers.  
  
Faith swallowed again. "No," she replied, her voice shaking slightly.  
  
A smile stretched across his lips and he leaned his face even closer, and licked her earlobe, his smile broadening more when she shuddered. "I'm gonna fuck your brains out."//   
  
"Yokas? What did he say?" he pressed.  
  
Christopher's voice jolted her out of the memory and she blinked a couple times. "He...asked me if I knew what he was going to do to me," she said, her voice quiet, distant.  
  
"And?"  
  
Bosco glared over at the sergeant.   
  
"And I said no." Her voice was even more soft this time.  
  
"Officer Yokas...?" Swersky said, noticing the lowness in her voice.  
  
She gripped the edge of the table a little tighter, wishing she could sink right into the floor. "He threatened to rape me."  
  
Bosco closed his eyes tightly, his fingernails burrowing deeply into the palms of his hands. He clenched his teeth, slowly opening his eyes to look at her again. 'Why didn't you tell me, Faith?' he thought.  
  
"What did he say exactly?"  
  
"What does it matter what he said!? He threatened her, that's enough..." Bosco raised his voice, angered.  
  
Faith jumped at the sound of the anger in her partner's voice. She couldn't look over at him, afraid of what she'd see in his eyes.   
  
"It matters because we're building a case against the son of a bitch and we need to know exactly what went down in there. And threatening a police officer is a pretty big offense, Officer Boscorelli."  
  
Bosco gritted his teeth tighter, shaking his head in pure anger. "I don't give a fuck if you're building your stupid case! You don't need to push her! She told you what he told her...you don't need to know exactly what!"  
  
Christopher turned his attention to Faith again, ignoring Bosco's outburst. "Yokas, what did he say?"  
  
She felt sick to her stomach. Faith, her voice very soft, barely inaudible, replied, "He said he was gonna fuck my brains out."  
  
Christopher frowned. "I didn't catch that."  
  
Bosco shook his head at him, glaring furiously. Just leave it, he thought.  
  
Faith bit down hard on her lip, then in a shaky voice, she repeated herself, louder this time. "He said he was going to fuck my brains out."  
  
Bosco felt his chest ache and every fiber of him start to burn in anger. That bastard had said that to her? He'd said he'd... he couldn't even get the words into his mind, all he wanted to do was kill the sick bastard. His eyes settled on Faith, seeing the sad look on her face, the look that told him she didn't want to do this anymore, didn't want to remember. All he wanted to do was take her in his arms and hug her tightly, apologize for what that creep had said and done and just never let her go.   
  
"What happened then?"  
  
"That's uh...that's when Rodney came back with Bosco and the other hostages."  
  
"How about we take a break for five minutes or so?" Swersky asked them all, but didn't wait for a response as he nodded for Christopher to follow him out to the hallway as he stood up and left the room.   
  
Christopher stood up, but stared at Faith for a long moment before heading toward the door.   
  
Lieutenant Swersky stopped a short distance out from the door. He turned around, waiting as Christopher walked out. "Close it," he told him flatly.   
  
Christopher instantly did as told, shutting the door behind him.   
  
"What the hell do you think you're doing? I want you to back off Yokas."  
  
Christopher was taken aback. "I...uh..I was just trying to find out what happened."   
  
"You were pushing her. You can see how fragile she is after what she went through. I want you to back off."  
  
He nodded. "Yes, Sir."  
  
"I don't want to have to warn you again," he warned sternly.   
  
"You won't have to. I understand, Sir."  
  
Lieu nodded. "You better." He didn't leave room for anything else to be said as he headed along the hallway. 

* * *

Faith stared down at the tabletop. She could feel Bosco's gaze on her and she shifted uncomfortably. "Don't," she said quietly.   
  
"I didn't..." he said back, his voice just as quiet.   
  
She chewed on her lower lip, trying not to cry. She took a deep breath and swallowed hard, trying to regain control over her thoughts and emotions.   
  
Bosco noticed what she was doing, and moved in his seat slightly, closer to her. "Faith...I...I'm so sorry."   
  
"It's not your fault." She released a shaky breath.   
  
He closed his eyes for a moment, letting out a breath. "I shouldn't have left you alone with him. It is my fault."  
  
She shook her head. "Don't....blame yourself. Nothing happened. It's not like I haven't been threatened before," she pointed out.  
  
Her reply took him aback. "Not like that, Faith...have you?"  
  
She froze. "No...not like that. Just, you know, I'm a cop and I'm a female, and...it happens." She shrugged, trying to maintain her breathing.  
  
He gave her a look, knowing for damn sure what she was saying was every word the truth. Hell, he'd seen a lot of scumbags hit on her, make advances, threaten her. Just never like that guy Trent. "It shouldn't happen, though."  
  
Faith swallowed hard. "Yeah, well. I just shake it off. No big deal." She shrugged again.  
  
"It is a big deal if it's affecting you like this, Faith."  
  
"It's not affecting me...it was just the whole ordeal, you know? It was really intense."  
  
He nodded, scratching at his head for a split few seconds before placing his hand on her shoulder. "I saw you freeze, Faith. I saw the fear in your face when he went near you."  
  
Her heart pounded in her chest, remembering the look in Trent's eyes as he held her against the wall. She shuddered and stood up suddenly, shoving her chair backwards.   
  
"Faith?" Bosco said, his voice filled with fear and worry as he stood up with her. "What's wrong?"  
  
She shook her head furiously. "Nothing, nothing. I just...need some air." She turned around and yanked the window open.   
  
"Faith..." he pleaded.   
  
The cool air from outside rushed in as she stood there, her hands gripping the window ledge. She shut her eyes tightly. "I just didn't get any sleep last night, and I'm tense, and...the fight with Fred and...everything....I just...I'll be okay, I just..." She couldn't finish.   
  
Bosco stepped right over to her. He went to put his hand on her shoulder, but he resisted, not wanting to do anything wrong. "You just what? Faith, please, talk to me."  
  
"I just want this to be over with," she finished, not sure if that's what she really wanted to say or not, but feeling like she had to tell him something.   
  
He nodded, swallowing. "So do I," he replied, lowering his voice.   
  
"They're gonna put him away, right?" she asked quietly, even though she knew he didn't know for sure anymore than she did.   
  
"Yeah, they will. For a very long time. He'll probably never get out."

* * *

"What happened when he found the phone off the hook?" Christopher asked.  
  
Faith rubbed her forehead gingerly, her headache getting worse as the meeting dragged on. "He assumed one of the tellers made the call," she said wearily.   
  
"But Faith, she told him it was her." Bosco looked in her direction, noticing how tired she looked.  
  
"Then Bosco stood up and said he made the call."  
  
Christopher's eyes narrowed suspiciously, but he didn't comment.   
  
"He didn't believe either one of us. Not really."   
  
"He got really upset. We tried to calm him down, but he...hit Bosco in the chest with his gun." She swallowed hard, wincing at the memory.   
  
"Then, he asked if it'd upset me if he hurt Faith...I told him to leave her the fuck alone, but...he leaned closer, and told me..." He swallowed hard at the memory. "So I..." He looked over at the senior officers, no regret or remorse in his eyes, nothing but pure anger. "Let him have it."   
  
Christopher looked confused. "Leaned over and told you what?"  
  
"That he had already had his hands on her."  
  
Faith looked down at the table, feeling sick again.   
  
Christopher glanced at the Lt. "So when you say 'let him have it'...what do you mean exactly?"  
  
Bosco looked directly at him, a steely gaze in his eyes. "I gave him the last cookie. What the fuck do you think I meant?"  
  
"Boz," she said softly, not looking at him, afraid he was going to get in trouble.   
  
Bosco resigned with a breath. "He punched me, so I kicked him." He cleared his throat, running his finger around a dark knot of wood in the polished conference table. "I kept kicking...kick after kick..." As the words came out of his mouth he used great emphasis, gritting his teeth. "Then I grabbed him by the collar and slammed him into the ground, and punched him."  
  
Christopher's gaze drifted over to Faith. "And what were you doing when Bosco was fighting with Trent?"  
  
She froze, completely unsure of what to say. "I...."  
  
Bosco immediately cleared his throat, looking over at Lieu and Christopher. "She was trying to get me to stop, but I wouldn't listen."  
  
Faith turned to look at him, her eyes wide.   
  
"Why doesn't that surprise me?" he muttered under his breath.  
  
Bosco shot Christopher a glare.  
  
Christopher smirked at him, then turned serious again. "Then what happened?"  
  
"Trent told Jamie and Rodney to help him, but they refused," Faith said.  
  
"Then what?"  
  
"We told him to get up. Faith managed to get hold of his gun," Bosco added.   
  
"He wouldn't get up. Then he attacked Bosco."  
  
Christopher looked back and forth between him. "How did you finally manage to subdue him?"  
  
Bosco swallowed, not looking anywhere but at the knot of wood on the table in front of him.   
  
She looked over at Bosco, chewing her lower lip. "I hit him in the back of his head with the gun and knocked him unconscious."  
  
Christopher stared at her, a surprised look on his face.   
  
"After that, Rodney and Jamie just gave themselves up. Dropped their weapons."   
  
"And that was pretty much it. We all went outside after that."  
  
Swersky looked between them both. "No, that's not exactly true. You two stayed behind for a while longer, why?"  
  
She swallowed hard and looked down at the table. "Bosco just wanted to know if I was okay."  
  
"I see," he replied, looking at her for a moment longer before writing down some more notes.  
  
Faith let out a shaky breath. "Are we done here?"   
  
Christopher looked at Lieu questioningly.  
  
"I think we are." He looked at Christopher. "Unless you had anything else?"  
  
Christopher turned to look at Bosco and Faith again. "No, I think that covers it for me."  
  
Bosco nodded.  
  
Lt. Swersky nodded. "You can go home now. Thank you for coming in, we'll be going over your statements."  
  
She stood up immediately and headed for the door without waiting for them to change their minds.  
  
Bosco stood up, glaring at Christopher once more before following Faith out the doors. "Faith..." he called, walking behind her.   
  
She paused in her steps, only because it was Bosco. She waited for him to catch up to her.   
  
He walked up to her, stopping by her side. "You okay? Need a ride or anything?"   
  
Faith took a deep breath. "Actually...I...uh...I think I'm going to go see Jamie," she said, avoiding the first part of his question.  
  
"Right. Okay. Maybe I can hang around, give you a ride when you're done, then?"   
  
She hesitated. "You don't have to do that."   
  
"I don't mind, really," he assured her.  
  
Faith looked at him, then nodded. "Okay...that'd be great, Boz. Thanks."   
  
"Sure. I'll just be in the squad room, working on a report from the other day."  
  
"Okay."

* * *

Faith ignored the glares and curses from the assortment of prisoners in lock-up as she walked down the hall to the last cell. She looked inside and saw Jamie lying down on the cot, staring up at the ceiling, totally unaware of her presence. "Jamie?"  
  
Jamie blinked, not even turning her head to Faith, though she knew the officer was standing there. "What?"  
  
"I just wanted to come by and see how you were doing."  
  
"I'm fine," she replied, still not meeting Faith's gaze.   
  
Faith looked down at the floor. "Yeah, aren't we all," she muttered.   
  
Jamie turned her head to the other woman, her hands resting on her stomach. "What are you really doing here?"  
  
Faith wasn't really sure how to answer her, because in all honestly, she didn't know why she was there. "I guess I just wanted to see if you needed anything. For you or for the baby. Vitamins or something. I don't know."  
  
Jamie swallowed, returning her gaze to the ceiling again. "I'm fine...we're, fine..." She looked back at Faith again. "But thank you. For offering."   
  
"Look, um...I just want you to know that I don't blame you. For what happened yesterday. And I'm going to do what I can to make sure you don't get into anymore trouble than necessary," she said.   
  
Jamie sat up on her cot, nodding. "To be honest, I think maybe we'd be safer inside..." she said, running her hands over her stomach. "He can't get to us in there, " she said, her voice unsure.   
  
Faith looked at her, her gaze steady. "He won't get to you again."  
  
"You don't understand. If I'm outside, he'll get to me. He knows people. But inside, I'm safe, he can't..." She let out a sigh, staring at the floor. "I've been inside before, in juvie. He tried to get to me, but I was safe, there was no way he could. You have to understand."  
  
Faith gripped onto the cell bars. She searched her mind, trying to come up with something, some way to help her. "What about the witness protection program?"   
  
Jamie laughed. "I robbed a bank, they wouldn't give me witness protection."   
  
She took a deep breath. "Normally, you're probably right. But if two police officers testified on your behalf, you might have a chance."   
  
Jamie looked up at her, her brow creasing in confusion. "What, what officers?"   
  
"Me, for one." She looked right at Jamie.   
  
Jamie swallowed. "You're a cop? Then...the guy, the one you were with...he's a cop?"  
  
She nodded. "Yeah, he's my partner."  
  
"God. That explains a lot."  
  
A smile tugged on the corner of her lips. "Yeah, like how you ended up with a cell by yourself, for one."  
  
"And how you guys kicked Trent's ass." Jamie smiled widely, a laugh escaping her lips in seeing the image flash in her mind of Bosco kicking Trent in the groin. "You'd do that? Why?"  
  
"Because I don't think you had a choice of whether to be involved or not. I think he forced you to help him." She looked down. "And because I've got two kids, and if anyone ever hurt them in any way..." Her voice trailed off and she shook her head.   
  
Jamie nodded, shrugging a little. "Me and Rodney both. The three of us, we've known each other since we were kids....Trent always used to bring us stuff, we didn't have much...but, we had to do stuff in return." She paused, as though just hearing the second part of what Faith had said. "You have kids? But I thought..." She shook her head.   
  
Faith looked at her. "Thought what?" she asked, curious.   
  
"That you, and your partner...were...forget I said anything." She shook her head again.   
  
She swallowed hard and felt her face flush. "No...I...uh...I'm married."   
  
"Couldn't tell," she replied. "He cares a lot, though, that's why I thought...that you two..."   
  
Faith looked down. "Yeah...he's...we're good friends. Best friends," she said softly, her mind flashing back to their kiss in the elevator.   
  
Jamie looked away, slightly shrugging one shoulder. "Wish I had as close a friend as him."  
  
Faith smiled, her eyes sad. "You will. And who knows? Maybe you'll be more than just friends."  
  
"I hope so. I need someone good in my life, for a change."   
  
She swallowed hard again. "I'm gonna do everything I can to help you," she promised.   
  
Jamie looked up at her, nodding. "Thank you...Faith."  
  
Faith nodded. "You're welcome. Look, if you need anything, just tell the guard on duty to call me, okay?"  
  
"I will."  
  
Faith offered her a brief smile, then turned and headed down the corridor again. 

* * *

Faith leaned her head on her hand as she stared out the window at her apartment building. "Here we are again," she murmured.   
  
Bosco slowly nodded once, swallowing. He turned to look at her. "You all right, Faith?"  
  
She took a deep breath. "Yeah...just tired, Boz." Her eyes closed briefly.   
  
"It's been a long day, that's for sure," he said, lowering his voice for the last part.   
  
She nodded her agreement. Her head was pounding. And the thought of going inside and dealing with Fred again only made it hurt worse.   
  
Bosco put his elbow up against the bottom of the window, resting his head in his hand for only a moment before nervously putting his hand back on the steering wheel. He cleared his throat. "I coulda kicked Christopher's ass in there tonight."   
  
"I'd love to see that happen any day," she said, smiling slightly.   
  
He laughed, letting out a happy sigh. "I should go back there and do it now, actually. We could be off work together."  
  
She snorted. "Yeah, we could just go back and tie him up, throw him in a cell with Trent and see what happens."  
  
Bosco laughed, grinning. "I think Christopher might actually like that. I could see it now, Trent would be running around the cell, while Christopher is chasing after him...'I won't bite'...."  
  
She laughed and shook her head. "They deserve each other. Sick bastards, "she added under her breath.   
  
"I wonder how long we'd be suspended for?" he asked, looking out the front windscreen. He then turned to Faith. "If we really did that."   
  
"Suspended? We'd either get fired or we'd get medals."  
  
Bosco shrugged. "Medals. Lieu can't stand Christopher anymore than we can."  
  
She nodded, distracted as she looked up at her apartment building again. "Yeah," she said vaguely.   
  
He watched as she looked up at the apartment building, swallowing. He felt wounded inside, wounded that in the car, it was just them, a perfect moment shared. But upstairs, that was her life, her family. "Hey, Faith..." he said, shaking his thoughts away. "Last night..."  
  
She turned her head to look at him, waiting for him to continue.   
  
"What were you going to tell me?"  
  
She frowned. "What are you talking about?"  
  
"About your past..." he continued, swallowing again.  
  
Faith froze, startled. She'd hoped that he had forgotten all about that. She swallowed hard, looked away.   
  
"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said anything." He looked at her a moment longer, then looked away, mentally kicking himself.   
  
She felt guilty, hearing the hurt in his voice. "You know, it's just...it's not really important now." She shook her head. "It was nothing, Bosco. Really." Her voice was soft.   
  
He turned back to her. "If it wasn't anything, why does it hurt you so much, Faith?"  
  
She could feel tears start to sting her eyes. She tried to avoid his question. "It doesn't matter because I can't go back and change things that happened in the past."  
  
"I'm sorry, Faith..." He shook his head. "I can't accept that. No, you can't change the past, but you can talk about it...I'm here for you, here to listen."  
  
"I know that," she said quietly, not looking at him.   
  
"So talk to me...please..." he said, lowering his voice.  
  
She squeezed her eyes shut tightly. She wanted to tell him, wanted to tell him everything. She just couldn't form the words. "Bosco, I can't..."  
  
"I don't expect you to tell me now, Faith...but when you can, when you feel like you can...I'm here."  
  
She nodded, swallowing hard. "Okay." She looked over at him. Wordlessly she leaned toward him and wrapped her arms around his waist in an awkward hug.   
  
Bosco was taken aback by her move, but moved in the seat and put his arms around her. Not saying anything, he just held her in his arms. She pressed her face against his shoulder and held on tightly.   
  
He gently placed his hand on the back of her head, and leaned his face closer to hers. "I'm glad you're here, Faith..." he said, his voice soft.   
  
It took everything in her not to start crying again. She just wanted to stay there, with him, curled up in his arms, feeling safe. Bosco closed his eyes, quietly thanking God for keeping Faith safe, for allowing him to have her in his life.   
  
She finally managed to pull away, though she hated it. She swallowed hard and looked at him for a long moment. "Thank you," she said quietly.   
  
He just nodded, holding onto her hand. "You're welcome," he replied, just as quietly.   
  
She took a deep breath. "I should...go inside...."  
  
Bosco reluctantly nodded. "Yeah..." He wanted to say something to keep her there, but he didn't know what to say, or if he'd just put more distance between them if he opened his mouth.   
  
She wrapped her hand around the door handle, then hesitated. "Hey, Boz."  
  
He arched his eyebrow a little. "Yeah?"  
  
"We're taking the kids to McDonalds tonight...do you, uh...do you wanna come?"  
  
Bosco hesitated to reply for a moment. "Uh, I would love to...but, I don't know...what with, us...Fred...I don't think, I could..."   
  
She winced. "Right. Yeah, you're right. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have..." She shook her head.   
  
"No, it's okay...I appreciate the offer. I just, I don't know that I could be around him, not after...everything."  
  
"Okay. So...I'll...see you in a few days then," she said, tiredly.   
  
He nodded, hating to be parting like this. "Yeah. A few days...hey, maybe I could drop by some time, before then."   
  
"Yeah, that'd be good..." she hesitated. "Maybe, uh...maybe you should call first though."   
  
"I will."  
  
She ran a hand through her hair. "Okay." She reached for the door handle and opened the door. "I'll see you."  
  
"Yeah, take care, Faith," he said, hating himself for not saying anything else, or any differently.   
  
She paused at his words. "Yeah, you too," she said softly. Then she climbed out of his Mustang and swallowed hard, closed her eyes as she shut the car door. Then taking a deep breath, she walked toward her apartment building.   
  
Bosco watched as she walked away, and then went inside. He cursed aloud, leaning his head against the headrest. "Shit."

* * *

Go to Part 2--The Conclusion

Back to Sadness Options


	2. 2

Title: Wherever You Will Go series, fic #6: Sadness (2/2)

Authors: Demelza and X_tremeroswellian

Email(s): demelza81@yahoo.co.nz and X_tremeroswellian@yahoo.com

Disclaimer: The characters don't belong to us. They belong to Edward Allen Bernero and John Wells and a bunch of other people that we've never met before. Please don't sue. 

Summary: Faith's home life becomes more troubled as she and Bosco grow closer together. 

Rating: PG-13

Spoilers: Up through and including "The Unforgiven." 

Author's Note: This is the sixth story in a series of Third Watch fics we're writing titled "Wherever You Will Go." The first one is "Confessions," the second is "Here With Me," the third is "Pain," the fourth is "Tears," and the fifth is "Fear." You may want to read those first before continuing. 

* * *

Sadness (Part Two)

Faith quietly unlocked the door to her family's apartment and stepped inside. She removed the keys from the lock and shut the door softly. She turned to see Fred sitting on the couch, in between Emily and Charlie, watching television. She stared at them for a long moment wordlessly, and swallowed hard. She shut her eyes, then opened them again. "Hi, guys."

Emily was quick to look at her mother and smile widely. While Fred slowly turned to her, half smile on his face. "How did it go?"

She nodded quickly, forcing a smile. "It was fine." 

"Oh. So, you guys are all done with the questioning? You won't be called back in?" 

"Not until the trial, hopefully."

"Hopefully." He nodded. 

"Yeah." She let out a breath and sat down on the arm of the couch. "So what are you guys watching?" 

Fred nodded toward the tv. "Camp Nowhere." 

"It's a really great movie. I like Mud." 

Faith smiled at her daughter and smoothed back the hair from her face. She looked at the screen for a second, then looked over at Fred again. "Everything go okay while I was gone?" 

Fred nodded, his eyes shifting from the tv to his wife. He looked up at her, and smiled. "Yeah, fine. We've just been watching a couple movies." 

She nodded. "Good..." She stood up and took a deep breath. 

"You okay, hon?" 

"Yeah, just...tired..." 

"Mom, can we still go to McDonalds tonight?" Charlie asked, pleadingly.

Emily looked away from the tv to her brother, then up at her mom. "Can we, please?"

She smiled tiredly. "Yeah, of course." 

Fred shook his head. "No, you can't," he said, looking up at Faith just as she spoke. "What, no, Faith, we can't afford it." 

She looked at him, startled. "Fred, it's McDonalds...not Chanterelle's."

Fred frowned. "It's still too expensive. We can be saving the money for something else. Like a family meal out to one of those fancy restaurants."

"Mom, you promised," he whined. 

"Yeah, Mom." Emily matched Charlie's whine. 

"I know I did, Sweetie. You guys go get ready, okay?" 

Fred glared at Faith as Emily jumped off the sofa and ran through to her and Charlie's room.

She turned around and headed for the kitchen. 

"Faith!" he said loudly, climbing to his feet and followed her. "Don't walk away from me when we're having a discussion."

She sighed and continued into the kitchen, grabbing a bottle of aspirin from the cabinet above the sink and twisting off the top. "I promised them, all right?" 

"I don't care," he said, lowering his voice, but keeping his angered tone. "We agreed to cut back on un-necessary spending. The kids can wait a few weeks, and we'll all go out to a nice meal." 

She shook a couple of the aspirin out of the bottle and swallowed them down with a drink of water. "It's not that expensive. We can still go out in a few weeks," she said, shrugging. 

Fred sighed angrily. "That's not the point."

She was starting to get annoyed herself, but she tried not to let the agitation show in her voice. "Then what is the point?" 

"The point is, how are we supposed to save when you go off and waste money all the time?"

She stared at him. "Waste money? Fred, the only damned places I ever go are work and here." 

"What about that damned gum your always chewing? And the food you buy on patrol?" 

"Yeah, excuse me for eating," she muttered under her breath, turning away. 

He angrily sighed, pulling her back around to face him. "Faith, I'm just saying it all adds up in the long run." 

"So after tonight, we won't go out to McDonalds or anywhere else for awhile." 

Fred sighed again. "If we want to save, it's the way it has to be. Money doesn't grow on trees. If you'd passed that exam, and were getting that extra money, we could be spending a little money every once and a while." 

Her eyes narrowed. "So that's what this is about." She shook her head, feeling angry as she moved past him. "I should have known." 

"Faith!" he said louder, finally turning to face her as she moved away. "We have to cut costs, that's all I'm saying."

Faith turned to face him. "Fine, you want to cut costs? Then don't go. I never said you had to," she said coolly, then turned away again and walked down the hallway toward their bedroom. 

Fred angrily glared after her. He waited a moment, as though the wheels in his head were turning in thought and came to a sudden halt as he went after her. He walked down the hallway and angrily opened the door. A frown etched across his face, he stared at his wife. 

Faith ignored his stare as she reached into her closet and pulled out a different shirt to wear, one that was a little less formal. 

"You're not going. We can't afford it!" 

She turned very slowly and glared at him. "You don't get to tell me what to do. You're my husband, not my owner." 

"I bring in my share of the pay check, and I'm telling you, Faith, you are not taking those kids to McDonalds. We cannot afford it." 

"I made a promise to my kids, and I'm going to keep it. Don't worry, Fred. I won't touch your money." She quickly changed shirts. 

Charlie came into the room right then. "Can we go now?" 

Fred shook his head at his wife, determined for her to listen to him. "You're not taking them," he told her, his tone a warning. 

She raised an eyebrow at him, then looked at her son. "Yeah, we can go now." She walked toward the door without responding to her husband's warning.

Emily came running out of the room with her thick jacket on. She looked once at her dad, seeing the angered frown on his face, and followed her mom and brother. 

"So what'd you guys do at school today?" she asked as they headed toward the run front door.

Fred stood in the doorway of his and Faith's bedroom, glaring after Faith. 

* * *

"Okay, what do you guys want to eat?" Faith asked as Emily and Charlie picked out a booth to sit at.

"Chicken McNugget Happy Meal!"

She nodded. "Em? "

Emily looked at her brother and smiled widely. "I'll have a cheeseburger Happy Meal," she said, turning back to her mom. 

"Okay, two Happy Meals coming right up. I'll be right back." 

"Okay," Emily agreed. 

Charlie glanced over at his sister after his mom walked away. "Dad was really mad, wasn't he?" 

Emily nodded, looking at their mother as she walked over and got in line to get their meals. She turned back to Charlie. "Yeah, he just wouldn't leave Mom alone." 

He bit his lip and fiddled with the salt shaker on the table. "Why'd he get so mad?" 

She shrugged, sitting back against the chair. "I don't know. Money, I think." 

He sighed and laid his head down on the tabletop. "I wish we were rich." 

"I don't." 

He jerked his head up. "Why not?" he asked, confused. 

"Because..." she said, sounding unsure. "If we were rich...Dad would just find something else to moan about." 

"Why are you being so down on Dad now? I thought you liked him better than Mom." 

They didn't see Faith standing a couple feet away. She swallowed hard, trying to push aside her son's words as she moved over to the table. "I forgot to ask what you guys wanted to drink." 

Emily looked at Charlie with a concerned stare, then looked up at her mom. "Rasberry, if that's okay?" 

She nodded. "That's fine. Charlie?" 

Charlie glanced up at her. "Cherry coke." 

Faith forced a smile, though she felt like her insides had been torn in half. "Okay." She turned and walked away from the table.

Emily waited until her mother was walking away before turning back to Charlie. She swung her foot and kicked him lightly. "Good one, Charlie, Mom might have heard." 

He rolled his eyes. "She didn't."

"But she could have. Didn't think of that though, did you?" she bit back, slamming her back into the chair angrily. 

"What's your problem? Jeez. I just said the truth." 

"So what. You don't *know* the truth," she stated, sitting back against the seat and glaring at him. 

Charlie glared back at her. "Whatever." 

Faith approached the table a moment later and glanced back and forth between the two of them. "Everything okay here?" 

Emily glared harder at Charlie. "Fine." 

Faith took a deep breath and handed Charlie his Happy Meal box, then handed Emily hers. She sat down on the seat next to her son and folded her hands on the table. 

Emily gratefully and silently took her Happy Meal box and opened it. She thanked her mom, and proceeded to remove its contents.

Faith swallowed hard as she looked at her daughter. "I'll uh...be right back, okay? I need to use the restroom." 

Emily nodded. "Okay." 

She stood up and headed back toward the bathroom. 

Faith locked herself in the bathroom and stared at her reflection in the mirror for a long moment. Charlie's words echoed in her mind. //Why are you being so down on Dad now? I thought you liked him better than Mom.// She leaned back against the door and slid down to the ground. Pulling her knees to her chest, she laid her head on her arms and began to cry. 

* * *

Bosco had been driving around ever since he dropped Faith off at her place. He just didn't feel like going home. Or anywhere else for that matter. After awhile, he somehow found himself at McDonalds. He immediately spotted the Yokas's truck in the parking lot. Without thinking about it, he pulled his car into the parking lot and parked right next to their vehicle. He shut off his car, but remained sitting in the driver's seat, his hand gripping the steering wheel tightly. He swallowed hard, trying to decide whether or not to go in. 

* * *

Charlie frowned and looked across the table at his sister. "Is she not gonna eat?" 

"She's just using the bathroom Charlie," she replied, not really answering him. 

"Yeah, but she didn't bring anything back when she brought our food," he pointed out. 

Emily finally met his eyes, and then looked at the table. He was right. "I'm gonna go see if she's okay," she said, quickly getting up from the booth and finding her way to the ladies bathroom. There, she knocked on the door. "Mom?" she asked. 

Faith took a deep breath, startled to hear her daughter's voice right outside the door. "I'll be out in just a minute, Em," she said, glad that her voice was calmer than her emotions. 

"Are you okay?" she asked again, sounding worried. 

"Yeah, sweetie, I'm fine," she answered, closing her eyes tightly.

"Are you sure? Because you looked upset before." 

She rose to her feet and turned the water faucet on. She splashed a few handfuls of cold water on her face and then wiped off the excess water with a paper towel. She looked at herself in the mirror again, glad there was no visible evidence of her crying bout. She took a deep breath and opened the door, smiling warmly at Emily. "I'm okay. Just had a little too much caffeine today, that's all." She placed a hand on her daughter's shoulder. 

Emily nodded, smiling up at her mom. "Hey, Mom..." 

"Yeah?" 

"I'm sorry."

Faith looked at her in surprise. "For what?" 

"For everything." 

She paused, then stopped walking toward the table. "You don't have anything to apologize for, Em. You didn't do anything wrong," she said softly, shaking her head. 

She shook her own head. "Yeah, I did, I haven't been very nice to you lately." 

Faith bit her lip, but smiled at her daughter. She gently tucked a strand of dark hair behind Emily's ear. "It's okay. I'm not upset with you," she assured her. 

Emily smiled up at her mom and looked over at the table where Charlie was eating his chicken nuggets. "So, why didn't you get anything to eat?" 

"I'm just not very hungry. I guess I'm still full from lunch," she said, shrugging slightly. Then she paused again. Had she even eaten lunch? She couldn't remember.. 

"Well, you can have some of my fries if you want. I don't always eat them." 

She smiled slightly."Yeah, we'll see. Let's get back to the table before your food gets cold, okay?" 

Emily nodded. "Okay," she said, smiling widely, and walking back to the table. 

Faith swallowed hard, trying to push away the sadness that was still churning inside her. Then she forced a smile onto her face and sat back down next to Charlie. "Is it any good?" she asked him, elbowing him in the arm.

Charlie looked up at her and grinned, his mouth too full to talk. "Mmm-hmm." 

She chuckled. 

Emily opened the wrapper on her burger, and picked up the fries with her other hand, extending one to her mom. "Want one?" she asked, taking a mouthful of her burger. 

Faith accepted a fry from her and ate it quickly. 

"So, at school today..." she said, munching on a full mouth of food. "This boy in my class, Brodie, he got suspended..."

"What for?" 

She swallowed the food and took a sip of her rasberry. "He was caught looking up all the girls' dresses."

Faith stared at her. "He what?" 

"We were all standing in line for lunch, and he went behind us pulling up our dresses and looking under them. He's suspended for three weeks. Didn't Dad tell you? I gave him the note from the principal."

"No, he didn't tell me," she answered, trying her best to keep her anger out of her tone. 

Emily looked at her curiously. "He should have, both parents are supposed to see the note. Principal Gatby wants to talk to you both tomorrow afternoon." 

Son of a bitch, she cursed inwardly. She took a deep breath and nodded. "I'll talk to your dad when we go home," she said, giving her daughter a small smile. 

"Okay," Emily said, drinking more of her drink.

Charlie glanced over at her. "When we're done eating, can we go play in the playplace?" he asked, hint of pleading to his voice. 

Faith turned her head to look at him. "Yeah, of course." 

Emily shook her head at Charlie. "You are such a child," she playfully remarked. 

He stuck his tongue out at her. 

Faith grinned and shook her head. 

Emily poked her tongue back, before settling back in the seat more comfortably. "Mom...can I ask you something?" 

"Sure, Sweetie. What's on your mind?" 

She swallowed, looking at her mom. "Are you and Dad going to get a divorce?" 

* * *

With a resolved sigh, Bosco gave into his need to see Faith, even if it meant seeing Fred, too. He walked inside the door and over toward the booth where they were sitting. They hadn't noticed his presence yet. He idely wondered where Fred was when he heard Emily's question. He froze, waiting for Faith's response. 

* * *

The smile faded from Faith's face as she realized both of her children were looking at her, waiting for a reponse. She looked down at the table top for a long moment before looking at Emily again. "No, honey. Your dad and I aren't getting a divorce." 

Emily nodded, noting a change in her mother's voice. She hadn't meant to ask, but with all the problems lately, she did wonder. So did Charlie, if any of their late night talks during their parents' usual fighting matches were anything to go by. She took another sip of her drink, and had only let go of the straw when she looked over to where Charlie was when a familiar sight caught her eyes. "Uncle Bosco!?"

Faith felt her her heart skip a beat as she looked over her shoulder and saw him standing there. Their eyes locked. She swallowed hard, the sadness inside her deepening a little more. 

Bosco swallowed, forcing a smile. He'd overheard, and after what he and Faith had been through, he still couldn't really believe her reply. He had hoped, ever so hoped, but to hear her say those words. He casually walked over. 

"Bosco! Want some fries?" 

"Sure." He smiled, sitting beside Emily as she moved over to make room for him. 

Faith looked at him briefly, offering a short smile. "Hey," she said softly. 

He smiled over at her. "Hey," he said back, taking one of the fries that Charlie had offered.

Charlie grinned at him. "Look at my Spiderman toy!" he said, holding up the packaged toy that came with his meal. 

Bosco grinned back. "Cool toy! What did you get, Em?" he asked, turning to Emily. 

Emily used her finger to push the toy out from under a napkin. "Same as Charlie," she said, sighing slightly. 

Faith looked at her. "Do you want me to see if I can trade it in for one of the barbie toys?" 

Emily looked at Charlie, then turned back to her mom. She nodded. "Can you?" she asked in a nice manner. 

She nodded. "Sure." She took the toy from her daughter and stood up quickly. Almost immediately the room began to spin and she grabbed the back of the booth for support so she didn't fall.

Bosco quickly stood up, putting his hand on Faith's back. "You okay, partner?" he asked, moving around her to check if she was okay.

She closed her eyes and nodded. "Yeah, I just...stood up too fast." 

He took one more look at her before removing his hand. "Are you sure? I can go exchange the toy, I've got to get myself something to eat anyway." 

She opened her eyes and looked at him, still feeling off-balance. "Actually, I think I'll take you up on that offer." 

He nodded and helped her sit back down. He took Emily's toy and had just turned on his heel when he turned back again. "Get you a drink or something?" 

Faith shook her head. "Nah, I'm good. Thanks." 

"You sure? What about you kids, need a refill? Anything else to eat?" 

"I'm sure, Boz. Thanks."

Charlie grinned. "Can I get another cherry pepsi?" 

Bosco smiled at Faith, and nodded to Charlie. "Yep. What about you, Emily?" 

Emily sipped the last of her rasberry and handed him the carton. "Can I have the same as Charlie?" 

Bosco nodded again. "Sure. Be right back then." 

He went over and waited in line, running the orders through his mind so not to forget exactly what Emily and Charlie had asked for. The line moved forward and as he waited, he turned to look over at Faith. He was worried, not knowing exactly why she had gotten dizzy like that, even if she did say it was only because she had stood too fast. _Why don't I believe you? _he asked inwardly, just watching her. 

* * *

Over at the table, Emily had just about finished her fries. She was really worried about her mom. "Mom, are you feeling okay?" she asked. 

Faith looked at her, surprised. "Yeah, honey, I'm fine." 

"Are you sure? You don't look that well." 

She swallowed hard. "I'm okay. Just didn't sleep very well last night. Nothing to worry about," she said, trying to sound assuring. 

Emily nodded, but even she didn't believe her mother's words. 

Charlie sat back against his seat and looked at his mom. His sister was right; she didn't look very well. He frowned but remained silent. 

* * *

Bosco was only in line for another few minutes before he was up to the counter and ordering the Cherry Coke's for both Emily and Charlie. He ordered a couple Big Mac's for himself, along with a hashbrown, large fries and a large Coke. He also ordered a second packet of large fries for Emily and Charlie. He exchanged Emily's Spiderman toy for a Barbie one. After paying for the goods, he scooped up the tray they had all been placed on and walked back to the booth and sat down. "Here ya go..." he said, handing the drinks out to both children, and handing them the second packet of fries. "Thought you guys might like some more." 

"Thanks, Bosco! You're the coolest!" Charlie exclaimed.

Emily quickly reached out for a few fries and shoved them in her mouth. "Thanks, Bosco!" 

Faith looked at him gratefully. "Thanks." 

Bosco smiled, unwrapping his first burger. "Sure thing. You sure you don't want anything? I can go back up there." 

She shook her head. "No, I'm good. Thanks." 

He smiled again. "Okay." 

Charlie quickly wolfed down his drink and some of the fries Bosco had brought over for them. Then he squirmed in his seat and looked at him mom. "Can I go play in the playplace now?" 

Faith gave him a small smile and nodded. "Sure." 

"Thanks, Mom!" 

"You be careful," Bosco said to Charlie, not even waiting until he'd swallowed what was in his mouth. 

Faith stood up to let him out, her hand gripping onto the back of the booth tightly. "Don't forget to take your shoes off!" she called after him as he took off running. 

Emily sat next to Bosco, just shaking her head. He looked at her, however, as if wondering why she hadn't gone with Charlie. "It's for kids," she said, as if knowing what he was thinking. 

Faith raised an eyebrow and looked at her. 

"I'm twelve, Mom, not a kid." 

She smiled. "Which is why you were playing in it just a few weeks ago when we were here last." 

Emily's jaw dropped open, but she couldn't find the words to fight that statement. So instead she just sipped more of her drink. 

Faith supressed the urge to start laughing. "Em, if you want to go play, it's all right." 

Bosco looked between mother and daughter, trying hard himself not to laugh. 

Emily looked at her mother, then at Bosco. "Can I get past, please?" she asked quietly, as if a little embarassed to admit she wanted to go play. 

Faith bit her lip to keep herself from laughing as her daughter quickly scooted out of the booth as Bosco stood up to let her out. She watched as Emily turned and hurried off in the same direction Charlie had gone moments before. She let out a deep breath as she turned back to face her partner. 

Bosco sat back down at the booth and looked over at Faith, not saying a word, just worry running through his mind. He really didn't know what to say, but just look at her. 

She tucked a strand of loose hair behind her ear and looked down at the table for a moment. "So I guess you changed your mind about coming." 

He nodded, clearing his throat a little. "Yeah. I hope you don't mind...?" 

She quickly shook her head. "No, not at all. I..uh...I'm glad you're here." She forced a smile and looked up at him. 

He smiled back. "So, how come you're here alone with the kids? I thought Fred was coming."

"Yeah, well. Apparently we can't afford to be here," she muttered, rolling her eyes. 

Bosco scoffed, scrunching the napkin in front of him up into the ball of his hand in anger. "McDonalds, as in, the cheapest burgers on the planet McDonalds?" he asked, his tone sarcastic. 

She sat back against the booth. "The very one." 

He shook his head again. "I knew he was tight, but that tight is ridiculous, Faith." 

"Yeah, that's what I said." She grimaced as the pounding in her head started again. 

"So what happened?" he asked, sitting back. 

She shrugged. "I just told him if he didn't want to come, he didn't have to." 

"Well, I'm glad he didn't come." He paused at that statement, before continuing. "I mean, so that you get to spend time with Em and Charlie by yourself." 

Charlie's words flashed into her mind again. //Why are you being so down on Dad now? I thought you liked him better than Mom.// 

Faith looked down at the table, swallowing hard. "Yeah," she said softly. 

"Are you okay?" he asked, leaning forward over the table a little. 

She nodded, but remained quiet. 

Bosco reached his hand out and touched hers. "Faith...please, tell me what's wrong...?" he asked, hating seeing her like this.

She shifted in her seat, holding her breath and trying not to cry. She shook her head. "It's nothing." 

He searched her eyes, and he knew that there was something wrong. "Come on, Faith, tell me." 

She met his eyes, unable to stop a tear from dropping down onto her cheek. "Damn it," she muttered, quickly wiping it away with the back of her hand. 

"Hey, it's okay..." he said, gently squeezing her hand. "You're allowed to cry. I just wish I knew what was wrong." 

"It's Emily," she said finally, wiping away another tear as it fell. 

"Emily?" he asked, sounding a little shocked. "What did she say?" 

She shook her head. "It's nothing she said...I just...overheard the kids talking..." She looked away, out the window, trying as hard as she could not to breakdown right in the middle of McDonalds. "She hates me," she whispered. 

Bosco was taken aback. "She what? No, Faith, she doesn't hate you." 

"Maybe hate's too strong a word." She swallowed hard, resting her forehead on one hand. "But she doesn't like me. At all. I mean, I don't blame her. How could she? You know, I'm never around...I'm never there for them when they need me. I haven't been a very good mother." 

"Faith, that's a lie," he told her, squeezing her hand again. "You've been the best mother you can be, she knows that. Those kids adore you, Charlie and Emily *both*. Faith, listen to me, she understands, she loves you, and she understands," he repeated. 

Faith shook her head, her eyes full of tears. "I don't think so, Bosco." 

"Kids are kids, Faith. They go through stages of not liking their parents. It's the cycle. Father and son, mother and daughter... she loves you. Don't you ever doubt that. Not even for a minute." 

She swallowed hard. "Yeah, well...I know she adores Fred." 

"Well, one day she'll see him for his true colors." 

Faith stared down at the table. "He's a good father, Bosco." 

"I don't care. The minute those kids see how he treats you, in their eyes he'll no longer be the saint they think he is." 

She looked up at him, realizing he was speaking from personal experience. "Sorry, Boz..." she said quietly, cursing herself inwardly for bringing up the subject at all.

He swallowed, shaking his head. "Don't. Just, I don't want you thinking Emily hates you. If you want to know how she feels, just ask her. But I know she doesn't hate you." 

She bit her lip, trying to smile, but not quite succeeding. "I hope you're right." 

"Trust me, Faith," he said, sqeezing her hand again. 

Her lower lip trembled and she looked down again, trying not to cry. 

Bosco squeezed her hand again. "It's okay..." he said, trying to reassure her. 

She couldn't stop the tears from running down her cheeks. " I don't know what the hell is wrong with me today," she said, shaking her head as she wiped at the tears with her hand. 

"Well, you've been through a lot lately, it's perfectly understandable." 

"Yeah, well, I've been through a lot before when--" She cut herself off. "I've been through a lot before and it's never affected me like this." 

"When what?" 

She met his eyes, startled that'd he caught her slip. "Just a lot before. With Fred when he was drinking and...just a lot of stuff." 

He didn't believe her. "Oh. Well, this isn't like that, this is more...different situations." 

She looked down at the table, taking a deep breath. "Yeah." 

"You can talk about it, you know. With me. I'm always here to listen." 

"I just...haven't been sleeping well lately. I don't know. It's just stress." She leaned back in the booth again. 

Bosco sat backwards himself. "Well, I wish you'd let me help you." 

She looked at him, feeling sad. "You do," she said softly.

"How, when you won't tell me what's wrong?" he asked, sadly. 

She felt her eyes fill with tears again. "I just--I can't, Bosco. I'm sorry. I want to, I just can't." 

He mentally kicked himself for making her cry. "Don't be sorry...I shouldn't push you. I know that, I'm sorry." 

Faith bit her lip. "It's okay. I know it's just because you're worried," she said tiredly. 

"But still..." He leaned back against the booth. "I don't know that I can eat anything else." He sighed, pushing the tray away from him.

"Yeah, well, you had enough food there to feed an army, Boz," she said, smiling slightly. 

He grinned. "And yet, I still couldn't finish it," he said sighing with a laugh. 

Faith took a deep breath and released it slowly. "Did you get your invitation to the policeman's ball?" 

Bosco nodded quickly. "Yeah, mail yesterday. You?" 

She nodded. "Yeah, this morning." 

"You going?" he asked. 

She shrugged. "I don't know. Are you?" 

"Maybe. I'm not sure." 

"Yeah..." She looked out the window. "Looks like it's going to rain again." 

Bosco looked out the window, too, but only for a moment before looking back at her. "Yeah. Torrential downpours, the reporter said on the news."

"Great," she muttered. "With all this rain, I'm starting to think we're gonna drown." 

Bosco couldn't hold back a snicker. "Just mother nature taking its course." 

She didn't smile. "Yeah, well, I'm sick of all the storms," she said, her voice quiet, distant. 

"It'll pass," he said. "So, what do you have planned for tomorrow....?" he asked. 

"Apparently Fred and I are supposed to be going to Emily's school to talk to her principal, which he failed to mention to me." 

"What? Why do you have to go to the school, or for that matter... why the hell didn't he tell you?" 

She shrugged. "I don't know. He probably just forgot." Her jaw clenched. "Some boy at her school was going around looking up all the girl's dresses today." 

Bosco cringed at the thought. "What a pervert. Hope they suspend him." 

"Three day suspension." She shook her head. "He should be expelled," she said angrily. 

"Tell them that tomorrow. The kid should be. When I was seven, this boy at my school did the same thing, he was never allowed back in the school." 

"Oh, believe me, I'm gonna tell them. If he's allowed back, who knows what he'll do next," she said tensely. 

All Bosco could do was nod. 

She closed her eyes momentarily, then opened them again. "Bosco, I'm sorry." 

"For what?" 

"For being lousy dinner company." 

He laughed slightly. "You weren't," he promised. 

She almost smiled. "I promise to be in a better mood for our next shift together." 

He just smiled, and slowly turned the drink of coke around that he hadn't even touched yet. 

She hesitated. "I should round up the kids and head home before it pours." 

Bosco nodded. "I'll go get them." 

She shook her head. "Nah, it's okay." She swallowed hard, looked away. "Thanks for being here, Bosco." 

"Sure thing. I enjoyed the company." 

"No, I meant...For being here for me," she said softly. 

He nodded, smiling. "Anytime, you know I'll always be here for you." 

"I know." She rose to her feet and instantly felt another dizzy spell wash over her as her head pounded. She grabbed her head in one hand as she sat back down, hard on the booth. 

"Faith!" he almost shouted. "Are you okay?" 

She grimaced at the pain. "Yeah...my head is just....I've had this headache all day." 

"What, why didn't you tell me? I've got some aspirin if you want some?" he asked, taking the small container of pills out of his inner jacket pocket. "Here, take it with some of my coke." 

"I took advil a couple hours ago," she said, shaking her head. 

"Well, one more won't hurt." 

She nodded and took the bottle from him. She quickly removed the lid and shook two pills out, then swallowed them down with his drink. 

"If it doesn't work, you might need to try some extra strength excederin later tonight." 

Faith looked at him and opened her mouth to speak, then hesitated. 

He looked at her, somewhat squinting. "No, what?" 

"I...uh...I'm not sure I should be driving right now." 

He nodded. "That's okay. I'll drive you home, then I'll come back in a cab to get my car." 

She swallowed hard. "I'm sorry, I know it's a lot of trouble...it's just...the kids are with me...if it was just me, I wouldn't ask." 

"Faith, it's fine. And, if it was just you, I wouldn't let you drive home anyway." 

She met his eyes and nodded, feeling that sadness stir within her again. "Thanks, Boz." 

"Anytime." He smiled slightly. 

* * *

Faith closed her eyes briefly as she unlocked the door to the apartment with her keys. She twisted the handle and let Emily and Charlie in before she stepped inside herself. She closed the door behind them quietly and turned the lock. Her head was still pounding and all she felt like doing was going to bed and sleeping.

"Mom, can I watch Pokemon?" Charlie asked.

"Have you got your homework done?" she asked, hanging her coat up on the coat rack. 

Charlie looked at her, a guilty expression on his face. "No," he said, glumly.

"Finish your homework and then we'll see, all right?" 

He sighed, turned around and headed down the hallway, passing Fred on the way. "Hi, Dad." 

Fred didn't say anything to his son, just looked right at his wife. "Why don't you kids both go to your room so I can talk to your mom?" 

Emily had already started following Charlie when her dad spoke. She looked at her mom for a moment, then to her dad. 

Faith sighed inwardly. 

Fred waited until both children had gone into their room before stepping toward Faith. "You were gone a long time," he said, not looking at her as he walked through into the living area. 

She didn't respond. She sat down on the couch, resting her head against the cushions. 

"Faith..." he said, standing in front of the tv cabinet. He slowly turned to her. 

"What?" she asked tiredly. 

"What took you so long? 

"The kids wanted to play," she said, shrugging, not wanting to mention that she had let them play longer than intended so she could talk to Bosco. 

Fred just looked back at her. "And how much are we set back?"

She rolled her eyes. "About six bucks." 

"Really? Then what about the bags the kid brought home...that would have cost more than that." 

"Yeah, the cost of two Happy Meals. Happy now?" She stood up slowly. "The toys in the bags come with the meal, Fred." 

Fred stared back at her. 

She looked back at him. "What?" 

"I put together a budget," he stated flatly, picking up a white sheet of paper off the coffee table and handing it to her. "I want you to follow it, Faith." 

She didn't even look at the paper. "Oh, you've got to me joking me," she said in exasperation, shaking her head. 

He shook his head, serious. "I've set aside an amount that you can use as you like each week. But it's the only way to cut costs, Faith." 

Fury that she hadn't realized she possessed whirled through her and she glared at him. "You know what? I don't spend that much money in the first place. And if once in awhile I want to take my kids out to get some damned food from McDonalds, you're not gonna stop me from doing that!" She stormed off down the hall toward their bedroom. 

Fred grabbed the piece of paper angrily and followed her down the hall, an angered expression covering his face. He went into the room, slamming the door behind him and stood there. "We're married, we're supposed to be equal!"

She looked at him dubiously.

* * *

Emily had been sitting on the floor doing the rest of the homework that she too had forgotten to do. It was a sheet of silly math sums that she really didn't have the energy to finish. She let out a sigh as she heard her parents bedroom door slam and her dad start in on her mom. She flicked the pencil across the sheet of paper and looked over at Charlie, who was sitting at the desk, looking frustrated as he tried to do his spelling. 

She hated it when her parents fought, more so when her mom started having a go at their dad. But tonight, it was different. Her dad was really angry over money, and it was all her fault. If she hadn't begged her mom to take her and Charlie to McDonalds, then it wouldn't be happening. 

"I wish they'd just shut up," he muttered, not looking up. 

Emily silently nodded, looking over at the wall that was the only object between them and their parents. "Yeah, me too," she said quietly. 

"Equal? You think we're equal?" 

"No, I'm saying that's what we're meant to be!" 

Charlie sighed, threw down his pencil and put his hands over his ears. 

Emily sighed again, picking up her math sheet, scrunching it in her hand and tossing it over by her bed. "Why can't they stop it til we're at school?" she shouted angrily, tears forming in her eyes. 

* * *

Fred ran his hands over his bald head in angered frustration. He threw his hands in the air and threw the piece of paper aside in anger. 

Faith shook her head, staring at him in disbelief. "You want us to be equal, Fred? Then stop acting like you own me." 

"I don't, Faith!" he bit back, his teeth clenched. "You expect us to move forward in our future, then you better stop spending money we don't have!" 

Faith suddenly remembered a conversation she'd had with Bosco once when he told her how he'd had to listen to his parents screaming at each other all the time. She took a deep breath and lowered her voice so she wasn't yelling anymore."Look, I made a promise to the kids tonight and I kept it. It was six dollars. I earn more than that in one hour, okay? So once in awhile, taking them out to eat isn't a big deal. Just let it go." 

Fred stared back at her, anger set in his eyes. "Yeah, a promise. That'd be the first one you've kept in the last few years, wouldn't it?" he asked, snarling. He stepped over to her, pointing his finger at his own chest. "I made a budget, and you are *going* to stick to it." 

She stared at him. "What the hell is that supposed to mean?" 

"It means exactly what I said." 

"What promises have I made that I haven't kept?" she asked, thrown by his statement. 

"Why don't you ask your kids? Ask them how many times you've made promises to go to after school soccer matches, but never turned up. Or missing Emily's meet." 

Guilt flooded her and she turned away to stare out the window at the rain. She swallowed hard, unable to respond to his words. 

"You can't deny it, can you, Faith?" he asked, his voice cruel and sharp. 

"No, I can't," she said softly. 

Fred lowered his voice as he walked over to her. "I don't want you making promises to them ever again." 

She turned to look at him, her eyes full of tears. She stared at him for a moment, then shook her head and moved past him, to the door. 

He stayed staring out the window. "I'm warning you, Faith." 

She paused at the doorway, brushing away a tear from her cheek. "Don't threaten me," she said softly, her voice full of warning. Without another word, she turned and left the room. 

Fred didn't even look after her, he just stood there with his hands forming fists at his side. 

* * *

Faith stared down at the loaf of bread through her tears. She closed her eyes tightly and drew in a deep breath to try and calm her emotions. Then she opened them again and removed some of the bread and started to make lunches for the kids for school the next day. Her gaze drifted to the telephone on the wall and she bit her lip. She wished that she could call Bosco and talk to him, but she knew that was out of the question. 

She heard heavy footsteps coming down the hallway and she squeezed her eyes shut again. Just leave me alone, she thought, her head pounding. 

Fred came in through the living area and paused momentarily as he scanned the room for Faith. He let out a breath and headed over to the kitchen, stopping only feet away from her. 

She opened her eyes again, and focused on spreading the peanut butter on the slice of bread. 

Charlie came into the room just then, with Emily right behind him. "Mom, can I have the rest of the fries Bosco bought us?" 

Faith nodded. "Sure, Charlie. They're in the fridge." 

Emily walked over to the fridge with Charlie, while Fred stood there, the anger in his face growing more and more. 

"What did you just say...?" He directed his question to Charlie, looking at his wife for a few moments before looking at his son. 

Charlie turned to look at him. "I just asked if I could have the rest of the fries..." he said, confused. 

"No, you said Bosco's fries." He immediately looked at Faith. "He was there?" he asked, the anger in his tone apparant. 

She sighed. "Yeah, apparently Bosco eats dinner on occasion, too." 

"So, is this why you wanted to go so much? Because *Bosco* was going to meet you there!?"

She set the knife she was using down on the counter and turned to look at her kids. "Guys, why don't you take the fries back to your room, okay?" she asked, her voice warm toward them. 

Charlie looked at her, frowning. "Okay." 

Emily nodded, taking the second bag of fries from Charlie. "Okay," she replied, grabbing her brother's shirt and pulled him along with her as they headed back to their room. 

Faith took a deep breath and looked at her husband, waiting until she heard the door of her kids's room shut. "I wanted to go because I made a promise to my kids. I didn't know that Bosco was going to be there." 

Fred sighed. "How can you not have known he was going to be there! And a promise to your kids? How can I believe that when *he* was there!?" 

"Fred, Bosco didn't even show up until the kids were nearly done eating! How was I supposed to know he was going to be there?" 

"You tell me, Faith! Because, I just don't know what to believe anymore! It's bad enough you see him every day, but now he's taking part in my kids lives?" He angrily shook his head. 

She stared at him. "What the hell is your problem with him anyway? He's my partner, Fred. And he'd never do anything to hurt the kids." 

Fred didn't reply straight away. "My problem with him is that I'm sick of you working with him! I'm sick of Bosco this, Bosco that! I'm sick of the fact you won't damn well tell me what the fucking two of you were doing at that damned bank last night!" 

The breath caught in her throat. "We were being held hostage," she snapped. 

He shook his head. "No! Not then, I meant before...why the two of you were at the bank at the *same* time." 

Faith glared at him. "Well, I went because I needed to get some money so I could go grocery shopping. If you want to know why Bosco was there, why don't you ask him? Because I don't know." 

He scowled. "Don't you worry, I will," he promised through gritted teeth. 

She turned back to making the peanut butter and jelly sandwich. "Whatever," she muttered.

Fred leaned closer. "You know what your broken promises and lies have done to your kids?" he asked, his tone bitter. 

She didn't respond. She tried to focus on smoothing out the peanut butter so it was even on the bread. 

"Your daughter, have you seen the way she looks at you? All the pain in her eyes from your broken promises, they've turned her against you." 

Tears stung her eyes as Charlie's comment rang in her ears again. She gripped the knife tightly and tried to stop herself from crying. The telephone rang and she jumped at the sudden sound, then reached out to snatch it out of its cradle. "Hello?" she said, her voice shaky.

"Faith?" 

Her heart leapt into her throat at the sound of Bosco's voice. "Yeah." 

"What's wrong? Is everything okay?" 

She swallowed hard, knowing Fred was staring at her. She was silent for a moment. "Yeah." 

There was another long pause. "I just thought I'd call, see if you were feeling any better." 

Faith swallowed again, her heart beating twice its normal speed. "Not so much," she admitted.

"Who is it?" Fred demanded.

"Oh. Are you sure everything's okay?" Bosco asked, concern in his voice.

She closed her eyes for a moment, her heart aching as tears pooled under her eyelids. "Everything's fine," she said very softly. She turned to look at Fred. "It's Bosco." 

Fred scowled, growling low in his throat. 

Bosco paused again on the other end of the telephone. He could tell just by hearing her voice that something was wrong. "Do you need me to come over, Faith?" 

She hesitated momentarily. "No." 

"Are you sure? You don't sound good." 

She wanted to say yes more than anything right at that moment. She wanted to ask him to come over and pick her up, get her out of there, away from Fred...but she couldn't. Her heart breaking, she softly replied, with tears in her voice, "I'm sure."

"If you're sure," Bosco said, sighing.

She fought to keep the tears from falling. "Yeah, I'm sure. Thanks. I'll see you at work in a few days." 

"Right. Okay. Yeah, I'll uh, I'll see you at work then," he said, waiting for a while, before hanging up the phone. 

She didn't want to hang up the telephone, knowing that as soon as she did, Fred was going to start in on her again. 

"What the hell did he want?" he demanded, filling a glass of juice while glaring at his wife. 

"He just wanted to make sure I was okay." She picked up the knife to start working again on the PBJ for Emily's lunch. 

Fred drank down his glass of juice and heavily slammed down the glass on the bench. "What, he just saw you a short while ago." 

She jumped slightly when he slammed down his glass. "Yeah, well, I've had a bad headache all day and he wanted to make sure I was all right," she answered tensely, trying to keep the tears out of her voice. 

"Well, you're fine," he snapped, mumbling something inaudiable under his breath. 

Her hand clutched the knife a little tighter as she tried to focus on what she was doing through her tears. "Yeah, well he didn't know that." 

"You should have told him then," he snapped again, walking out of the kitchen momentarily before turning back and walking back in. "And how the hell did he know you've had one all day?" 

"Polite people ask how you're feeling on occasion," she said, her voice inaudible. 

"What did you just say?" he demanded. 

"I said I told him when I saw him at McDonalds." 

He didn't say anything, just looked at her. 

She finished making Emily's sandwich and placed it in a plastic bag, then did the same with the one she'd already made for Charlie. Faith placed the sandwiches in the fridge. "I'm going to see how the kids are doing with their homework," she said quietly, not looking at him as she headed past him toward the hallway. 

He stood still, his eyes following her. "Fine. But don't you dare make them any promises," he warned, his eyes holding a deep glare. 

She stopped in her tracks for a moment, her hands clenching into fists at her sides. Then taking a deep breath, she ignored his remark and walked towards her children's bedroom. 

* * *

Emily had straightened out her math sheet after a while and was just finishing the last equasion on the page when she lifted her eyes and looked over at her brother. "You hear that?" she asked, noting inside how suddenly quiet it had become. She was about to say something else when she heard footsteps coming down their hallway, it sounded very much like how their mom walked. Just then, there was a knock on the door and Emily looked directly at Charlie, as if waiting for him to say or do something.

Charlie just shrugged. "Come in," he called, looking down at his spelling words. 

Faith opened the door and stepped inside, looking first at Charlie then at Emily. "Hey, guys. How's it going?" she asked, her voice soft. 

"Spelling sucks," he grumbled. 

Emily looked at her mom, seeing how sad her eyes were. She mildly shrugged. "So does math," she added, after Charlie. 

She smiled slightly. "Yeah, I remember..." She walked over to where Charlie was sitting and glanced over his shoulder at his spelling workbook. "Looks like you're almost done." She rested her hand on his shoulder. 

Charlie nodded and glanced up at her. "Almost," he said, sounding relieved as he smiled at her. 

She smiled back, then walked over to Emily."Do you need any help?" she offered, sitting down next to her. 

Emily shrugged again. "No. I'm nearly done." 

Faith nodded. "Want me to check it for you?" 

"No," she said, her voice sounding distant as she leaned her head in her left hand and continued working on the last equation. 

She bit her lip. "Okay." She reached out to brush a strand of hair out of her daughter's eyes.

Emily pulled away, brushing back the strand of hair herself. She didn't say anything. 

Faith pulled her hand away instantly, then stood up and turned away before her daughter could see the tears in her eyes. "If you guys need any help, I'll be out in the living room," she said, her voice very quiet. 

Charlie looked at her, a slight frown on his face. "Okay. Thanks, Mom." 

Emily nodded. "Okay. Thanks, Mom," she echoed quietly, scribbling some kind of pathetic drawing next to her equation.

She tried to smile, but didn't quite make it. "Sure, Sweetie." 

Without another word, Faith turned and left the room. She closed the door behind her, then leaned against the wall for a moment, struggling to maintain her composure. 

* * *

Charlie put his pencil down and turned to look at his sister. "What's your problem?" he asked.

Emily rubbed her head, ignoring him for a few moments. "Nothing," she soon replied, not looking back at him. 

He rolled his eyes. "R-ight." He turned back to his homework.

She tried to finish the last equation, but she just couldn't. She let out a long sigh and looked up at Charlie. "I don't have a problem," she stated matter-of-factly. 

Charlie shook his head, then turned to look at her again. "Yeah, you do. You were mean," he accused. 

Her eyes narrowed. "I was not mean!" 

"Yes, you were. You made her cry." He shook his head again, frustrated. "One minute you're on Dad's side all the time, then earlier you were on her side, and now you're on Dad's. You're driving me nuts!" 

Emily slumped a little in her chair. He was right, she had been mean to her mom. She hadn't meant to be that way, in fact she was trying so hard to be nicer to her mom earlier, but now... "I just hate them fighting. I wish they'd stop," she said, almost crying. "I'm not on anyone's side, I just, I don't know..." She sighed, unable to finish. 

"I don't like it when they fight either," Charlie admitted, his tone less angry. "But it's not always her fault, Em." He turned back to his spelling words. 

Emily swallowed, looking right at him. Tears rolled down her face. He was right again, it wasn't always their mom's fault. In fact, tonight was proof of that. She sniffed, turning back to her math sheet momentarily before her eyes soon landed on their bedroom door. Her heart hurt, knowing she had hurt her mom. 

* * *

After several long moments, Faith finally managed to pull herself away from the wall, her head still aching, only the pain was lessened now by the intense pain she felt in her heart. When she moved, she saw Fred standing a few feet away, his arms folded across his chest, a smirk on his face. She didn't say anything to him as she stood looking at him.

His lips curled snidely. "You know, just because you took them to McDonalds doesn't mean you can buy their affection. I don't understand why you even try." He paused, the smirk on his face growing. "You know they hate you." 

Faith recoiled as though he'd physically slapped her across the face. "Why are you being like this?" she whispered, shaking her head. 

"I'm just trying to make you face up to the truth," he remarked, keeping his voice even and cruel. 

Without responding, she moved past him and headed toward the living room. 

Fred grabbed Faith's arm just as she walked past him. His teeth were clenched as he yanked her closer to him, gripping her arm tightly. "I know what the hell you're up to," he said in a dark tone, glaring at her. 

Pain shot up her already wounded wrist. She tried to jerk her arm away from him, but couldn't. "You're hurting me. Let go," she said, too distracted by her own pain to try and comprehend what he'd said. 

He only gripped her arm tighter. "I just want you to know that I'm watching you, Faith. Always," he added, angrily pushing her away from him as he let go of her arm. He stood there momentarily before heading to the bedroom.

She stared after him, her wrist aching and her heart pounding. "Fred."

He didn't even stop in hearing her voice call his name, he walked into the room, his hands balled into fists and he slammed the door shut behind him. 

She followed him down the hall and flung the door open and glared at him furiously. "Fred," she said again. 

Fred sat on the edge of the bed, deep scowl set in his brow as he removed his boots and begun to get ready for bed. He still ignored her. 

"If you ever do that again...if you ever grab me like that again...you're gonna be really sorry," she warned. 

He looked up at her, inwardly laughing. "Oh, what's gonna happen? Bosco's gonna come beat me up?" He laughed, shaking his head at her. 

She stared him down. "No. I'll have him arrest you for assault and battery," she replied coolly. Without another word, she turned and left the room, closing the door behind her as she walked down the hallway.

* * *

Faith sat on the living room sofa staring at the blank television screen for what seemed like an eternity. Fred and the kids had gone to bed hours ago, but no way was she about to go to bed and sleep next to Fred that night. She swallowed hard and reached for the portable telephone. Without thinking twice, she dialed a phone number she'd known for ages. 

"Hi. This is the refrigerator, the answering machine isn't in right now, but if you leave a message I'll pass it on to the answering machine when it gets back." 

She almost hung up the phone without leaving a message, but at the last second she heard the beep, she swallowed hard. "Bosco, it's me...I...uh...I guess I just wanted to let you know that I was sorry for being abrupt with you on the phone earlier. I'm okay...just...yeah, sorry. Talk to you later. Bye." 

She hung up the phone and set it on the table. Then her gaze flickered to the clock. It was almost one a.m. She cringed, hoping she hadn't just woken him up. 

* * *

She wasn't sure how long she'd been sitting on the sofa in the same position, lost in her thoughts...thoughts of Fred and their marriage, of the kids, of Charlie's comment at dinner that the kids didn't know she'd overheard, of Bosco and the past few days--when there was a quiet knock on the door. 

Startled, she blinked and sat up, then stood and headed for the door, wondering who would be knocking at that time of the morning. She unlocked the door and opened it to see Bosco standing in front of her. 

Bosco took a breath in, and slowly let it out. "Hi," he said quietly, a smile forming on his lips.

She stared at him. "Hi," she said back, stunned that he was there. 

"I heard your message...I got worried. Your tone...you sounded...hurt." 

She swallowed hard and closed her eyes momentarily. "I'm sorry...I shouldn't have called..." She shook her head, feeling guilty. 

He shook his own head, stepping closer to her. "No, it's okay." He lowered his voice. "I'm glad you called." 

"I didn't mean to wake you, Bosco...or worry you." 

He smiled warmly. "You didn't wake me, I was just sitting in the dark, thinking about...well, stuff." 

She looked down, feeling the tears she'd been holding down all evening struggle to rise to the surface. "Yeah, me too," she said quietly. 

He looked at Faith, seeing how sad she was. All Bosco wanted to do was hug her tight and tell her it was all okay. "Can I come in?" he asked. 

She nodded, biting down on her lip as she tried not to cry. She stepped aside and let him in, then closed the door behind him. "Everyone's asleep." 

Bosco nodded, walking through to the living area. He was standing in front of the sofa when he turned around, facing Faith. "Want to talk about it?"

She met his eyes for a brief second. And that was all it took. Her face crumpled and she started to cry. 

He walked over to her and put his arms around her. Holding her tightly to him. "I'm so sorry, Faith," he whispered. 

She sobbed into his chest, her arms winding around his waist and holding on tightly, afraid that if she let go, she'd collapse on the floor. 

Bosco held Faith tight in his arms. Feeling her trembling made his chest feel heavy, not knowing why she was crying, not knowing what to do to ease her pain. He helped her sit down, not once letting her go as he sat back on the couch and brought her head to rest against his chest. He gently rubbed her shoulder, every part inside him aching more. "It's okay. It's all going to be okay," he told her in a low, promising tone.

She shook her head. "No, it's not," she whispered, her voice full of tears. 

"Tell me," he whispered, continuing to rub her shoulder as he held her close to him. 

She swallowed hard, tried to get herself together. "We fought...it was bad..." 

Bosco cringed as the words reached his ears. Anger surged through him, but he pressed it aside and cleared his throat a little. "Fred?" he asked, pausing momentarily before continuing. "What happened?" 

She nodded briefly, wiping tears off her cheeks with the back of her hand. "We just fought about the kids...and money..." She shook her head and took a deep breath and rested her head on one hand as she leaned her elbows on her knees. 

His eyes narrowed. "The McDonald's thing?" 

"Yeah...he actually told me he made us a budget tonight and said I had to stick to it." 

"He did what?" he asked, almost choking. 

She sighed, her anger returning a bit. "It's not like I spend that much money anyway. I made a promise to the kids to take them to McDonalds...why can't he just understand that?" 

_Probably because he needs to get his head out of his ass_, he thought instantly. "Have you told him how you feel about it?"

"I tried, but it's hard to try and explain when he's--" She looked over at Bosco, saw the pain in his eyes and stopped abruptly, feeling immensely guilty. She sighed and shook her head. "He'll get over it." 

Bosco nodded. "He better. Because, a budget? Faith, you're the one who helped me get *my* finances in order back in the Acadamy days." 

She managed a small smile. "Thanks..." She looked away, took in another deep breath. "I'm kinda thirsty. You want something to drink?" 

He nodded. "Sure. Want me to get it?" 

She shook her head. "Nah, I can get it. You want a soda or water or--?" 

"Soda. If that's all right?" 

"Yeah, that's fine." She stood up and headed into the kitchen, where she flipped on the light and opened the refridgerator door, wincing as pain shot up her wrist from the movement. 

Bosco sat up straight in the sofa, looking in the direction of the kitchen. "Faith, you okay?" 

She turned, startled. She hadn't realized that he could see her from where he was positioned on the sofa. "Yeah, I'm all right." She swallowed hard, then reached into the fridge with her other hand and removed two sodas. Then she closed the door and headed back to the living room. 

He moved on the sofa as she walked back in. He took the drink from her as she sat down. "I thought your wrist was feeling better?" he asked. 

Her heart thudded in her chest. She had to choose her words carefully. "Yeah, it was...I think I just twisted it again earlier." She shook her head. 

He nodded, but it didn't stop him from dropping his eyes to look at her wrist as she twisted off the cap of her soda. He swallowed hard, seeing fresh bruises and red marks on her wrist. He brought his eyes to meet hers again, his chest feeling heavier again as he thought about how it could have happened. "H-how do you explain the bruising?" he asked, the words catching as they came out. 

She froze, her eyes locked on his. Oh, shit, she thought. "Bosco..." 

Bosco felt his neck burn as his blood pressure rose. "Did he do it? Is that why..." He couldn't even finish, he just stared at her. 

Faith shook her head, fear surging through her. "He didn't know my wrist was hurt, Boz. It's not his fault," she said quickly, her heart racing. 

"Bullshit!" he said through clenched teeth. "Not his fault?" He shook his head, unable to believe the words that came out of her mouth. "Abuse is abuse, Faith." 

"Bosco, it's not abuse!" Her voice rose slightly as she trembled. "He didn't mean to hurt me, okay? He didn't know." 

His eyes narrowed and he looked away, letting out a breath. "Why are you lying for him?" he asked, his tone low, hurting. 

Tears prickled at her eyelids again. "I'm not...he really didn't know. I didn't tell him," she said honestly, trying not to cry again. 

Bosco swallowed, he wanted to believe her. If Faith said Fred didn't hurt her, who was he to say she was lying? He turned his head to face her again. "He might not have known, but the fact he did that to your wrist...it's abuse, Faith." 

She swallowed hard again, shaking her head in denial. "It's not gonna happen again," she said certainly, wiping away a stray tear with the back of her hand. 

He nodded once, keeping his eyes on her."It better not. Because, I swear to God, Faith, if he hurts you again, in any way..." He shook his head, closing his eyes, before opening them again. 

Another tear trickled down her cheek. She should never have called him at all. What the hell was she doing? She was losing it. She swallowed hard, feeling suddenly sick to her stomach. "It won't happen again," she repeated, her voice shaky. 

Bosco felt his stomach knot, hearing the shakiness in her voice, the look in her eyes that told him he was pushing her again. He reached out his hand to touch hers. "I know it won't," he said, honestly believing her. "I just, I don't wanna see anything happen to you." 

The touch of his hand was too much. She started to cry again, wrapping her arms around her stomach as she laid her head down on her knees. 

He didn't know what he was thinking, what he'd done. But he moved closer, putting his arm around her. "I'm sorry, Faith," he said, wanting like hell to erase the last five minutes from both their lives, to have not hurt her. 

She shook her head. "It's not you."

"Yes. Yes it is. If I hadn't come over, said what I did..." 

"I'd still be a mess." She turned her head to look at him, feeling even worse as she saw the guilt written on his face. "It's not you, Bosco, it's not...please don't think it's your fault... "

He shook his head. "It is, Faith, it is my fault. You once said to me that what happens between you and Fred is your business, not mine. I should have listened."

She shook her head sadly. "It's not you or Fred." 

"Then what, Faith? Please, just, I want to understand." 

"It's me," she whispered. "There's something seriously wrong with me, Bosco." 

He let out a breath, not sure how to react to that. "W-what? How?" 

She shook her head. "I don't know...but look at me. I'm a wreck." She looked down at her hands through her tears and saw they were shaking. 

Bosco looked at her, at her hands. Just seeing her shaking sent him more over the edge to feeling so helpless. All he could do was place his hand over hers, and squeeze it gently. "I wish I knew...what to do," he said, swallowing. 

Faith looked at him, her voice barely audible as it spoke. "Tell me it's going to be okay," she pleaded, another tear dripping down her cheek. 

"It's all going to be okay," he whispered, taking her in his arms again and holding her tight.

She pressed her face into his shoulder and began to cry softly. "What's wrong with me, Bosco?" she whispered, fear in her voice. 

He moved his hand up and down her back gently, closing his eyes as he leaned his head against hers. "I don't know, but we'll find out, I promise," he whispered.

She simply nodded and held onto him a little tighter. 

* * *

Fred stepped silently along the small hallway to the living area, he'd heard the door open and close a short while ago, and then he'd heard the voices. Faith and *his*. He'd stayed in the room, reasoning with himself that he had treated her like a jerk. But then the angered thoughts that she shouldn't have been confiding in Bosco scratched the surface and he made his way along the hallway. He had just stepped in the doorway when he saw them. Their arms around each other as Faith sobbed. 

His eyes narrowed as he stared at them. He shook his head, vowing that this was the last straw as he stood there unnoticed.

* * *

Back to Sadness Options


End file.
